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One day at work a couple of years back, an alert popped up on my phone: my paycheck had been deposited. It was a fair amount for a student, so I did my usual when payday arrived: I launched every retail application on my device. From Amazon to Zara, the list was endless. In under 60 minutes, I had spent £90 on clothes, decorative items and a totally useless weighted blanket that I never used.

A short while after, I returned to the internet and bought a hairdryer. I already owned one, but thought another couldn't hurt. Then I added light strips and two shoes that didn't even fit me. This wasn't a new pattern. In reality, I’d been infamous for it since I started earning.

Whenever I felt anxious, exhausted or uninterested, I would doomscroll until it inevitably culminated in an unplanned shopping spree. My justification was always: “Oh well, it’s just £5.” But £5 became £10, then £20, and so on.

I was never entirely certain about the reason. Perhaps it was due to I grew up in a poor family, where we’d go months without purchasing new clothes or anything to decorate the house. So any moment I had some disposable income, there was always a subconscious yearning for new and thrilling things. Or maybe, and definitely more likely, I was just bad with money and succumbed easily to the lure of demands.

A Revolutionary Approach

Eventually, I decided to experiment with something new. Prior to buying anything, I’d place it in my digital cart, wait 24 hours, then make a choice on whether to finalize the purchase. The best part of this method was that it provided me time to think – something I’d never done before. For the first occasion since adulthood, I started asking myself: “Do I actually need this? Can I afford it?” Most of the time, the answer was negative.

If I opened Amazon, Depop or Zara and discovered items lingering in my cart, I’d clear them out and start fresh. By employing this system, I ceased buying goods that I intuitively knew I would never use. I once considered purchasing a trio of games, but after waiting before visiting the shop, I realised I never actually play board games.

I also wanted to buying a disposable film camera for my first trip to the coast. After pausing I remembered I possessed a smartphone, similar to most people, that features a perfectly good lens, and thus had no requirement to buy a dedicated camera.

The Lasting Impact

It also signifies I am more discerning about the items I do buy, and I can at last look at my bank statements without experiencing guilt or discomfort.

Naturally, there have been occasions I’ve relapsed into previous patterns – it’s only natural. The difference now is that I can recognise the signs early, especially when I’m rushing into a purchase. I’ve come to understand ennui is a strong catalyst. It’s probably the primary motivator of my reckless expenditure.

Consumer culture preys on this idleness and our need for instant gratification. That’s why, looking back, compelling myself to halt before buying has felt unexpectedly liberating. Gaining control over my urges and remind myself that I don't have to expend my diligently earned money on non-essential goods feels as revolutionary as it is straightforward.